Going to marriage and couples therapy seems pretty straightforward. You have a problem you can’t solve, you get counseling, and then things are supposed to get better. But if you’ve tried couples counseling, you’ll be the first to know that marriage and couples therapy is not some magic pill that works instantly to fix all your marital issues.
In fact, marriage and couples therapy is only the beginning of what will be a rediscovery of your relationship with your partner and a rekindling of the love and affection you have for each other. If you’ve done marriage and couples therapy and you’re at a loss as to what to do next, here’s a guide for you!
1. Practice What You Learned
The objective of marriage and couples therapy sessions is to help you and your spouse understand the root cause of your problems, so you can come up with solutions and strategies to effectively cope with the situation.
However, no matter how great the solutions or strategies you learn, they will be for naught if you don’t put them into practice. Apply what you learned in couples therapy and trust the process to actually see results.
2. Don’t Expect Perfection
Attending therapy does not mean you’re now an expert at solving your problems as a couple. The patterns of behavior and thinking you had prior to marriage and couple therapy persisted for a long time and have already become ingrained in you.
It’s going to take a lot of practice and trial and error to change yourself and how you behave. And it’s important that you set your expectations realistically to avoid being disheartened or blaming your spouse.
That’s why the last thing you should do is expect perfection from yourself or from your spouse. Neither of you is perfect, and that’s perfectly normal. Communication and understanding is key. The goal is to work through your problems together in a way that does not hurt either of you or your family.
You may feel stressed and frustrated at times, and that’s ok. As long as you go back to what you learned, and keep practicing, you’re on a journey to a healthier marriage.
3. Work Together
You and your spouse went to marriage and couples therapy together, and that means you should also practice whatever you learned from therapy together. Whatever the reason you went to counseling may be, the fact is both of you are in this together. It’s important to remember this, especially when life gets in the way and we find ourselves reverting to our old habits.
While we do not expect perfection from ourselves, we should offer our spouses the same kindness. We should remind them that we’re working together, that our objectives for our marriage and relationship are the same, and that we should constantly practice what we learned to get better at becoming the best partners we can be for our spouses.
Book an Appointment at Our Newport Clinic Today
If you’ve tried marriage and couples therapy and find yourself struggling afterward, you can always go back to therapy or seek help from other therapists to offer you guidance. The reality is sometimes, we fail to apply what we have learned and need a little support from our therapist. That’s perfectly fine.Get the support you need for your marriage with Keil Psych Group! We’re a group of clinical psychologists in Newport Beach who provide the highest quality mental health care to the people in our community. Reach out to Keil Psych Group at 714-334-5497 to learn more!